I think there’s an inherent coercive power that you wield over the employees, even if you’re not conscious of it.
I just talked to corporate and they said as long as I don’t give you a raise of any kind, I can make you my assistant. Now we get to hang out all day! We’re probably going to have a lot of inside jokes, aren’t we? What do you think our first one should be?
I’m just a pathetic, useless old man, apparently descended from slave traders.